There is a cup of water sitting on a table. It is so full, it is rounded at the top. One or two drops of water are added to the cup and it spills over. What caused the water to spill? We want to blame the last one or two drops, but in an empty cup it would not spill. It was not the water in the cup prior to the drops being added, because if left alone, it would not have spilled. It was a combination of all the drops of water in the cup that came before and the last one or two drops that caused the water to spill. In a person’s life, the water in the cup is symbolic of all the hurt, pain, shame, humiliation, and loss not dealt with along the way. The last couple of drops symbolize the “trigger events”, “the last straw”, the event or situation that preceded the final act of taking one’s own life.
Often we want to blame the trigger event, but this does not make sense to us. Like the water, these events all by them selves would not cause someone to end their life. It is the combination of everything in that person’s life not dealt with and the last one or two things that caused our loved ones to lose hope. For us, we must find a way to pour out the water along the way. This may be through talking it out, writing it out, sometimes yelling it out, whatever works for you. We must learn to deal with our pain in a way our loved ones could not.
This analogy does not give us the concrete answer many of us are looking for, but I know it made sense for me and has been helpful for many survivors. It allowed me to let go of the search for “why”, and to find a different way of dealing with my pain.
—Tracy T. Dean, M.S
Author Archives: bukallifeministries
December Updates
Disaster Response for Typhoon Yolanda (Haiyan) is in full swing. The first mission trip organized by Bukal Life Care just finished with work in Kalibo, Aklan, and Baliguian Island, Iloilo. Rice, roof sheeting, vitamins, and other relief goods were provided. Additionally, community assessment, crisis care, and art therapy were provided. This team consisted of Angie, Ptr. Ysrael, Fhey, Joylene, Lea, and Raymark.
Our latest team, consisting of 10 members, have just arrived in Cebu City, with various crisis care and training activities planned in Cebu and Ormoc Cities over the next week. This team consists of Celia, Jehny, Becky, Ptr. Arnold, Rose, Padi Pinit, Bonniebe, Mildred, Aldrin, and Serafina.
The newest CPE group started, led by Joyce. The trainees are Padi Pinit, Glenda, Noel, Corito, and Marie.
CPO (Clinical Pastoral Orientation) will start in January 2014. May also have a new batch of CPE at this time as well.
Baliguian Island
Baliguian Island
Traveling to Mission Site
Team in Kalibo
Harvest Church in Kalibo
Updates from Disaster Response Teams, Nov 28, 2013
Right now, there is only one team on mission. It is the Iloklan Team. The Iloklan team was in Kalibo helping out there, debriefing and providing relief goods, including galvanized iron for roofs of two churches. Then 16 hours of bus and fanboat to Baliguian Island where they did debriefing, rural assessment, art therapy. They were also able to provide 20 sacks of rice and other goods for the residents there. Have left the island and are back to more hours on the bus. Heading to Caticlan and then back to Kalibo.
The Ormoc Team got back to Baguio as are members of Bukal who joined the CPSP-PI team. The Ormoc team worked, not surprisingly, in Ormoc, but also in Tacloban. The CPSP-PI team worked mostly in Manila, but also had two members assist in Tacloban.
The Cebu Team had its planning meeting. The 10 member team will be leaving for Cebu Monday and Tuesday and be there about a week. Specific ministry points are being worked out.
Thanks to all of the volunteers and donors who have made this possible.
Updates from Disaster Response Teams, Nov 28, 2013
Right now, there is only one team on mission. It is the Iloklan Team. The Iloklan team was in Kalibo helping out there, debriefing and providing relief goods, including galvanized iron for roofs of two churches. Then 16 hours of bus and fanboat to Baliguian Island where they did debriefing, rural assessment, art therapy. They were also able to provide 20 sacks of rice and other goods for the residents there. Have left the island and are back to more hours on the bus. Heading to Caticlan and then back to Kalibo.
The Ormoc Team got back to Baguio as are members of Bukal who joined the CPSP-PI team. The Ormoc team worked, not surprisingly, in Ormoc, but also in Tacloban. The CPSP-PI team worked mostly in Manila, but also had two members assist in Tacloban.
The Cebu Team had its planning meeting. The 10 member team will be leaving for Cebu Monday and Tuesday and be there about a week. Specific ministry points are being worked out.
Thanks to all of the volunteers and donors who have made this possible.
Disaster Team Transitions
The Ormoc City team just got back yesterday (Nov 24) from their busy trip doing things ranging from carpentry to counseling. This team was a partnership of Bukal Life Care and Philippine Baptist Theological Seminary.
The CPSP team to Tacloban just got back to Manila. Other members of the team were ministering with refugees in Villamor Airbase, and training dozens of ministers/volunteers in crisis care. While this is not a team we have direct oversight or support of, two of our staff and two additional CPE trainees joined this group.
The Iloklan team left this morning (Nov 25). It is a partnerhip of Bukal Life Care and Asia Vision-STM. They are working in two communities: Numancia, Aklan and Concepcion, Iloilo. They will be doing crisis care, as well as providing relief supplies.
Our Cebu team is ramping up for its Dec 2nd departure for approximately 1 week. The 10-member team will be doing crisis care with refugees in the daytime, and debriefing and training with volunteers in the evening.
Volunteer Guide for Disaster Response Counselors in the Philippines
<div style=”margin-bottom:5px”> <strong> <a href=”https://www.slideshare.net/bmunson3/disaster-response-volunteer-guide” title=”Disaster Response Volunteer Guide” target=”_blank”>Disaster Response Volunteer Guide</a> </strong> from <strong><a href=”http://www.slideshare.net/bmunson3″ target=”_blank”>Bob Munson</a></strong> </div>
Relief Team Guidance: Ventilation or Retraumatization??
With the Disaster Response here in the Philippines, we have had to revisit an issue that has been with us since 2009. The issue is whether having a victim in a disaster relive the events is a freeing, ventilating event, or a retraumatization of the event. We use the NOVA method. One of the steps is Ventilation/Validation. In that, the counselor invites the individual or group to go through to describe their experience. There are other methods (CISM/CISD, PFA, OSFA) and this issue is an area where they diverge commonly.
Obviously, we are on a mission of healing so we don’t wish to further harm. There are people out there that are more experienced in this delicate issue. But talking to some and reviewing some literature leads us to recommend a middle road. Methods typically require some level of review of the events they have been through. This seems to be necessary. It is hard to imagine how to listen and respond effectively to the individual or group while avoiding the events that they have gone through. We interpret our lives in terms of stories. Inviting individuals to process experiences into narration seems to be a useful thing… something that has to happen at some point. Additionally, in group the common themes of shared experiences has the potential of healing. However, storytelling as an interpretive event, and act of ventilation, may be hurt by methods that seek to return to and relive the events that traumatized once. Understanding and interpreting can be good, but not reliving it.
Therefore, we are adding the following guidance.
- While using the NOVA (National Organization of Victim Assistance) we will seek story ventilation, but not seek recollection and sharing of specific sights, sounds, smells, etc.
- Similarly, for children, art therapy will still be used to allow them to share their own interpretation of events, but without seeking to share detailed sensory memories.
We would welcome further thoughts and insights in this matter.
Updates. Typhoon Yolanda
We have been working together with some other groups including Philippine Baptist Theological Seminary, Asia Vision-STM, and CPSP-Philippines. The relationship in each of these is different. However, we are blessed to have so many people dedicated to help in any way they can.
1. Ormoc (#1) Mission. This is a group led by Dr. Nori Lacquian from PBTS with a number of students from the seminary. This includes Alexis on our staff, and we provided training for crisis care with them. We expect to do debriefing with them when they get back. They are doing clean-up, carpentry, and more people-oriented ministry.
2. Villamor Mission. CPSP-PI, led by Joyce (one of our staff) and Tootsie, are doing crisis counseling with refuges from Tacloban who are at the Villamor Air base. Becky, also part of our staff, has joined this effort.
3. Panay Mission. On November 25, a team of Bukal Life and individual members of AV-STM are planning working at two sites on Panay, one in Aklan and one in Iloilo. This will be led by Anjie, a founding member of Bukal, and Lea from who is part of AV-STM.
4. Ormoc (#2) Mission. The exact destination is yet to be determined. However, the plan is to do a crisis care mission to in or near Ormoc. It iwll be led by Celia and Jehny of Bukal. The expected day of departure is December 2.
We are thankful for the dedication of these individuals and groups to seek to help those in need.
Some Questions on Disaster Response at Bukal Life Care
Question #1: We’ve been getting questions about helping in response to Typhoon Haiyan/Yolanda. We don’t normally solicit help so this is a bit new to us. But we certainly appreciate all who care about those suffering due to the devastation in the Visayas and Southern Luzon. If you feel led to help, Jehny Pedazo is the one who takes care of acknowledgement receipts. She can be contacted at our number 0933-302-0373. You can also contact us at info@bukallife.org if you have any questions or concerns.
Question #2: We have also been asked about Medical Missions in response to the disaster of Typhoon Yolanda. We did do medical missions in response to Typhoon Pepeng and Tropical Storm Ondoy. But not this time. We have decided to focus on crisis care chaplaincy (and teams), materials, and training. We will leave medical response to the many fine groups that specialize in that type of ministry.
Question #3: What about other organizations doing relief work in the Philippines? There are many good groups working over here. We have worked with the Philippine National Red Cross (PNRC) and so know they are a great and reliable group. World Vision is another group that does good work here. There are many others. Research. Don’t just give to the group that makes the most noise.
Disaster Response. Updates
Thanks to those who have given to support crisis care counseling with the disaster from Typhoon Yolanda. We won’t list them all at once, so we will list two today. Thanks for the generous support from ‘Virginia Baptist Mission Board” Disaster Relief, and “La Trinidad Community of Believers.” Because of this we have been able to train volunteers and support response teams.
The first team, led by Dr. Nori Lacquian, with a member of the Bukal Life Team, and several students at Philippine Baptist Theological Seminary, are on station in Ormoc City. Other teams are in Tacloban or soon to depart.
Last week we trained 25 in crisis response. This week, we had another training with NOVA crisis care, and Art Therapy, with emphasis on crisis response for children. More trainings are coming.
CPSP-Philippines is putting together several teams, especially working with refugees from Tacloban. Some members of Bukal Life Care are involved with that work. Bukal Life Care is a training center of CPSP-PI (and in fact was the first certified training center of the College of Pastoral Supervision and Psychotherapy in the Philippines).
Several others trained in our CPE program (for example, Fr. German) are part of other groups serving in the Visayas. We are thankful to find those trained having the opportunity.
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Bukal Life Care 